I took out a personal loan today. A loan to pay for a gastric bypass surgery/sleeve. I’m literally sick to my stomach. Nervous. Scared. Frustrated. Questioning myself and my decision. I don’t know. It doesn’t help it’s a full moon. Full moons always make me feel crazy. In this case, taking out a $12,500 loan seems crazy. Full moon or not. At least when I get sick to my stomach in the future it’ll only be 20% of my current stomach sickness. (Research it. Sleeve. You’ll see).

Borrowing $12,500 made it real. Legit. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to scream. I want to take the $12,500 I just borrowed today and payback the $12,500 loan I just took out. It’ll leave me with zero money to do this thing. That’d be a good way out.

Speaking of money. My bank account is currently broke. I have a $15,000 line of credit. My balance is -$14,992.52. I have $7.48 until next payday. So, that’s kind of exciting cause Wienersnitzel currently has a 5 for $5.95 special. If you balance your budget based off of how many Chili Dogs you can afford you’re probably a food addict. And broke. I am a food addict. And broke.

Why is money so off topic? It’s something you “can’t talk about”. Well, I can. So, I will. It seems to be wrong to be rich and bad to be poor. I’m neither. I’m not rich. I’m not poor. I just bought a $2,000,000 Printing Company. I own a home. I own a home in St. George. (It’s being rented as a Sober Living Home). I own a cabin up Millcreek Canyon. (Paid in cash). I have a boat, 4-wheelers, three cars, including my BMW, all paid for. I make six figures. Somewhere between $100,000 and $999,999. Ok. It’s the one way way way way way way way way closer to five digits. I’m not complaining. I’m not bragging. It’s just the truth of what it is. It’s given me the opportunity to pay off most of my debt and be in a pretty good financial position. Like I said, I have $7.48 in my account. Remember, I did say “pretty good”. Not great.

The truth is this. Money comes. Money goes. I’ve been in a place many many times over the years where I’ve been in a place to help a lot of people. I’ve also been in a place where I’ve needed financial help. Borrowing $12,500 from the bank is definitely the place I’m in financially where I’ve asked for help. I need their help, their money. I needed help. I asked. They agreed. I’m spending this MonEy on ME. The good news is that I know I’ll be able to help others financially again one day. I’ll be able to give back financially. (Other than the 10% tithing and a monthly $400 payment to my church for a missionary). Sister Buchi, Oregon, Portland. It’s the circle of money life. It comes, it goes.

Food post. Money post. Who knows? Definitely a Bi- Polar post. Up. Down. Good. Bad. Honest. Crazy.

The truth is this. Weight also comes. Weight also goes. I’m in a place right now where it just comes and comes and comes some more. I’m an addict. I need help. I hope that with the money that came it’ll help me with the weight that needs to go. Money comes, weight goes. I’m not complaining. I’m not bragging. It’s just where I am.

$12,500 or 2,500 Chili Dogs.

Either way. I’m going to spend it.

Hopefully it’s money well spent.

PS. My Venmo is _____________. If you feel like helping a broke fat dude. 🤷‍♂️.

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